Unity Part 2

Examine the following paragraph. Notice that some of the information in it is not directly related to the topic sentence. Such paragraphs usually confuse the reader unnecessarily. As you read, identify the parts of the paragraph that should be deleted or could be moved to another paragraph in a document on the topic.

Dippers are different from other songbirds – they are aquatic. They are short, plump birds that live close to cold, rushing streams in the western part of North America. They look a bit like wrens, but are the size of thrushes. They bob up and down when they are close to the water. Although there is some disagreement, most scientists accept the idea that birds are descended from dinosaurs.

The information about dinosaurs clearly has nothing to do with the main idea. The revised paragraph should look something like this.

Dippers are different from other songbirds – they are aquatic. They are short, plump birds that live close to cold, rushing streams in the western part of North America. They look a bit like wrens, but are the size of thrushes. They bobo up and down when they are close to the water.

In contrast to the first version, this paragraph has unity. All information is directly related to the topic sentence.

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